By Dr. Hilary Cooper
At Clear Mind Psychology, experienced therapists treat people of all ages who are experiencing Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, OCD, Learning Challenges, Emotional Regulation Issues, Divorce, Loss, Family Challenges, Behavioral Issues and more. Upon entering our sunny office suite in Rye, NY on any given afternoon, families are greeted by Eli, the mini-golden doodle while children read books or play games with their caregivers and enjoy an after school snack in our kitchen. We know that it is a difficult decision for a parent to bring their child to therapy and we aim to make the experience as comfortable and comprehensive as possible. Parenting is one of our practice specialties and we are keenly aware of how difficult it is to raise children today.
We have observed three hardest things about parenting:
- Witnessing our children’s negative emotions without over responding, trying to fix a situation or invalidate the reality.
- Seeing our children for who they truly are, without trying to shape them into people parents want them to be.
- Having faith in your child’s development. With a supportive environment, most children’s brains and bodies will grow and challenges will be worked out.
Clear Mind Psychology has recently added a weekly parent group for Parents of Children with Big Emotions. Half a dozen couples, all parents of children who have a hard time managing big feelings, come together virtually every Tuesday for eight weeks to share their parenting stories (both successes and obstacles) while learning new skills and re-thinking their perspective on themselves as parents and their children.
The most important overarching goal of our parent training group is for parents to manage their own emotions so that their responses to their children come from a wiser, more skilled place.
During the group parents learn the following skills, amongst others:
- Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills to help parents regulate their own emotions in order to become less emotionally reactive when approaching their children.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) skills to align parenting responses to family values.
- Recognizing their own “private events” and internal judgments when reacting to our children.
The most powerful benefit parents receive from the group is the knowledge that they are not alone. A parent of a 10 year old boy stated, “It’s like you all have the same child that we have.”
Another mother of a 13 year old girl wrote about the group in the following quote: “The parent DBT group was a helpful starting point for us. Learning to recognize ‘private events’—our internal thoughts and emotions—and applying ‘wise mind’ gave us useful tools to begin navigating some of the challenges with our child. What stood out the most was hearing from other parents—it was comforting to know we’re not alone and to see how much we shared in our experiences. Their stories often mirrored our own, which made the group feel both relatable and supportive. We’re grateful for the opportunity to be part of this program”
At Clear Mind Psychology we take very seriously our responsibility to provide compassionate evidence-based care that is specifically designed for each individual or family. We are grateful for the trust our patients have placed in us when they are under our care. Our whole purpose is to be a life long resource for our families and their communities.
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